Let’s say they meet a nice person, and this person does not know who they are dealing with. Now, what would the narcissist do? The same thing they have done to you. They would want this friend of theirs to put in all the effort, show up, keep up with the promises. They will manipulate them, gaslight them, basically the same things. It doesn’t change; the script remains the same. The lack of loyalty, lack of reciprocity, eventually leads to burnout, and this friend, confused and totally broken, they seek support, seek explanations, and unfortunately, they find out that they were dealing with something called narcissism. The same story, and then they leave. So, if it is all about recycling people, using people, advantage-taking, how would they have any friends? How would they be able to sustain or maintain them? Because for any friendship to last, you have to offer something in return. But if you are taking advantage of them, if you are using them as your sounding board, if you’re using them for gaining their attention, their validation, you are not doing anything for them; you are bringing them down; you’re breaking their relationship with others. Of course, they are going to leave you. So, it’s that cycle, and that is what they keep going through without having any genuine remorse for their actions.
Reason number five, and the last one: Friendships require a non-judgmental, respectful, honest, loyal, open, transparent approach.
You have to see this person as an equal in their abilities, in their thinking, and you also have to appreciate the differences. Can a narcissist ever do that? I’m asking you. Of course, the answer is clear: no. In any situation, they have to win; they have to have the upper hand; they have to be the better one. So, with their friends, they are always in competition; it’s
always a battle. They never get to sit with a pal of theirs and truly enjoy the moment without having to outperform them. It’s always a chase; it’s always some kind of chaos, trauma, and drama they create for these friends they keep in their company. Talking about company, they say misery loves company, so you will find a lot of narcissists together in a group; somehow, they form a trauma bond with each other, and they offer that mental masturbation to the false self that leads to group cohesion, it keeps it together. Have you ever seen that? Let me know. Talking about the non-judgmental approach, they judge their friends; they criticize them for every single thing, and that criticism can sometimes be really personal. ‘Oh, you are not a good friend because,’ and then you have the list of the complaints coming in your way. So, this approach does not work very well; it might give you some control over the other person’s psyche, but eventually, they are going to find out the truth, and they’re going to leave you. So, those were the five reasons behind narcissists not having any genuine friends. They may be surrounded with people, as I said, but those people are just enablers who want to stay in their for their own selfish reasons.
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