When it comes to narcissists getting what they want, there are quite a few different approaches they can take. And it all comes down to what they think will work best with any given individual. Of course, if one of their tactics fails, they will try another and another. Narcissists are very persistent when it comes to getting what they want. So, they will observe you, test you, and ask others about you until they find your weak spot. Therefore, I have some of the narcissist’s most popular methods that they use to extract what they want from those around them. Some of the strategies are dependent on the type of narcissist you are dealing with. Whether they are overt, covert, malignant or even a mix, But these strategies are what they hope will appeal to your emotions or logic in order to persuade you to surrender to the narcissist.
And one of the ways narcissists get what they want is by turning on the charm. This is where the narcissist tries to captivate you by being delightful. They put on a friendly smile. Show concern for your well-being. Maintain eye contact and engage in conversations that will interest you. The narcissist is basically eager to please and wants you to find them attractive and easy to be around. Because if you fall for their charm, most likely you will be open to their requests or demands later on. Being charming is not just about getting the attention that the narcissist craves, but a means to get people to like them. Someone is more willing to help or give to someone that they already view as attractive or likeable.
The second way narcissists get what they want is through emotional manipulation. This category can be very vast but let’s first look at some of the covert tactics that they use to manipulate your emotions, like giving silent treatments, guilt-tripping, and giving ultimatums to get someone to give them what they want or do what they want. These types of behaviors are the narcissist’s way of throwing a tantrum when things are not going how they want them to. Therefore, by going silent, guilt-tripping, and the like, the narcissist is communicating that the only way to make things right is by letting them have their way. So, they are determined to ignore you and make you feel bad, hoping that you will eventually give in. Another emotion that the narcissist tries to tap into is pity. If they can get us to feel sorry for them by pretending to be sick, downcast, depressed, anxious, or whatever it takes to get our attention so that we can help them and give them what they want, that is what they will do. Gaslighting is also another form of emotional manipulation. This is where the narcissist tries to distort reality and get their target to question their own thoughts, behaviors, and recollection of events. Gaslighting is a frequent favorite of the narcissist because their toxicity and negative behaviors often come to the surface, rearing their ugly heads, and gaslighting is their way to minimize, lie, distract, deny, and shift blame. The objective of the narcissist is to try and control how they are viewed by someone by making that person question or doubt their feelings and interactions with the narcissist. Because if the narcissist is able to maintain that control, then they will be able to keep manipulating and using that person for their own benefit. Another form of emotional manipulation that is not as unpleasant is love-bombing. With this tactic, the narcissist is not looking to make you feel bad, but really good. The narcissist is looking to prop you up with gifts, flattery, and attention. This period of love-bombing is strategic, and the narcissist is going to be looking for big returns. Whatever investments they made during this love-bombing phase, they are looking to reap a 100-fold return. The narcissist is not nice or gives without cause. They always want something. And if playing nice is what it takes to get it, they will.
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