With a baby coming in, you will notice that aggression is going to change into love, transforming into unconditional presence. It is just their immaturity, which is temporary because ultimately, as they age, they will learn. Their bitterness is due to the work and responsibilities they have. As responsibilities lessen, you will notice a deep transformation in them. Just be more present, more understanding, more compassionate, and more supportive. These are the things that survivors of narcissistic abuse hear from others or think themselves. However, they know that narcissists end up getting worse with time—the abuse worsens, the gaslighting and manipulation intensify, and the lying increases, along with the bitterness and overt aggression.
To understand why narcissists worsen and become miserable over time, we need to understand the basics. A narcissist is like an empty vessel with a hole at the bottom. No matter how much love or effort is poured into it, it remains empty because everything drains out, meaning it constantly needs a refill. That’s why they depend on multiple sources of supply and have their own tactics and different ways of acquiring it. Some narcissists use physical charm, like somatic narcissists; others use money, power, or influence. However, all these ways are temporary and unreliable because they can end.
For example, a somatic narcissist who depends on their physical charm will find that as they age, their charm fades. Wrinkles appear, their body weakens, and they can no longer maintain their appearance. This is when the narcissist becomes worse because they can no longer control others. This loss of control is a direct narcissistic injury that hurts their ego, shaking their grandiosity. Consequently, they rely on more harmful ways to control and hurt others. A hurt animal is more dangerous than one that isn’t, and similarly, a hurt narcissist becomes more volatile and destructive.
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