How a Narcissist Uses Money To Torture You

For narcissists, money is always tight when it comes to spending on you. However, when it comes to wasting money on things they do not need but only want, they let it flow without caring where it is coming from. They do not think about your future or the future of your children. If they want something, they will have it today.

They treat your grocery purchases as luxuries.

Going to a grocery store with a narcissist can be a nightmarish experience. You walk on eggshells, remain hypervigilant, and think a thousand times before choosing something for yourself. For example, a shampoo, a bar of soap, or a face wash, because you know you will be interrogated later. An investigation will be launched, and the narcissist will ask you why you chose that item when you could have gotten something cheaper. They fight for pennies, making you feel like a burden, undeserving of decent stuff. You feel like you should go cheap because you are not earning or, if you are earning, you have no control over your money. For some, shopping is a liberating experience, relieving stress and providing a sense of control. But for you, as a survivor of narcissistic abuse, who is being financially controlled by this narcissistic demon, it is a nightmare. It leaves you with lingering effects, struggling for hours after the event. You cannot handle it, and eventually, you settle for whatever they get you, even if you don’t like it. You just have to settle because arguing or asking for something better will lead to abuse.

They hypocritically lecture you about spending and saving, labeling it a waste of money, while they splurge on cars, houses, golf sticks, makeup, and other unnecessary items. If questioned about this behavior, they will call you stingy, making it seem like you’re controlling them and not allowing them any freedom. They’ll say, ‘It’s my money, I will do as I wish. It’s none of your concern.’