In order to enjoy what is special to you, let go of hoping that the other person is going to be what you would like them to be. They will not enjoy it, ever. So, letting go of that will help you focus on your enjoyment. Something else you can do is look for ways to enjoy that don’t include them or don’t involve needing them. For example, I knew one family that for their anniversary, this woman picked up quickly that no matter how hard she tried, no anniversary ever turned out like a special occasion. It was always a nightmare. So, what she did was, celebrate what came to be a family tradition for them and it was known as their family day, instead of celebrating an anniversary of the couple, she created a celebration in which every family member got each other gifts and they celebrated their family. Now, of course, the gifts were her helping the children get gifts for everyone including each other and her buying gifts for everyone they never included the narcissus getting gifts for anybody and that was okay, not expecting him to do that kept her stress down and her focus on having fun.
Can make a special occasion, maybe it’s not the way you would have liked to have it, but it doesn’t mean you have to stamp it out, and it doesn’t mean you have to adopt the misery to the occasion that the narcissist is hoping that you do. So, look for ways to enjoy what’s special to you despite how anyone else feels about it.
2 Narcissists Hate happiness
Anytime you’re happy, they will strive to stamp it out.
How do Does narcissus feel about happiness? think of somebody in New York City, that is home, and sees a cockroach in the grotesque disgust. They see it, for that cockroach motivates them to grab anything and slam it just to kill it. Well, that’s what the narcissist feels when they see you or a family member feeling happy.
Now, in my face-to-face coaching when I explained this to people who are new to learning about narcissistic abuse, and they’re telling me and they’re asking me why do you think he or she does this? And they’re explaining it, and it’s literally just them being happy and the other party doing everything to stamp it out. When I explained that’s their goal, I’m always met with the same face that is always like, how could that possibly be? how could there be a person? Whose goal is to stamp out the happiness of their significant other that’s not normal, exactly. we’re not talking about normal people, we’re talking about people that are dysfunctional, that are toxic, that have a distorted view of reality and of themselves and of you.
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