Happiness is someone else is threat to their false image, it’s a threat to who they think they are. Because narcissists don’t feel happiness, they’re not full of joy, they don’t radiate genuine excitement; they imitate or mirror those qualities from other people, but it’s not genuine authentic emotions that they’re having, they’re fabricating them, they’re imitating them. They see you as a genuine, authentic being; you have something they will never have and that’s the ability to feel genuine happiness from your core, not a facade, not something that’s false or fabricated, something real, that makes you better than them and they can’t have that. Now, again, this is their logic, not mine.
So, they need to stamp it out, see you miserable so, that they can like really it’s like a release valve that’s set off, and they’re like “okay I’m good, I’m not miserable she or he is, look how miserable they are, I’m not miserable, I’m the happy one” anytime you’re happy, threatens that reality and that’s why they hate it. So, how do you handle that if you’re still in the relationship? Again, is very similar to the first one that we talked about regarding holidays, letting go. Letting go of what you cannot control. When you’re with somebody that never seems happy with what you do but did in the beginning because they seemed happy at one time, so you feel like it can come, it can be there. It’s just something wrong with you and you’re striving and striving and striving and striving to get back to that point where they could find happiness in you, where they could be happy when you’re happy.
Letting go of hoping that will come back because that was never real, to begin with if you’re dealing with a toxic narcissistic person. that was a facade to get you hooked into the relationship it wasn’t real. So, let go of living to make them happy. That should not be your primary goal in life. Now, it would be nice obviously when we’re in a relationship and we’re normal relatively healthy because none of us are perfectly healthy relatively, healthy individuals we want to make the other party happy, we strive to make that person happy. But if somebody has proven over a long period of time that they have now become an unfeasible person, then we have to let it go and we have to look at our life and say what am I doing to make me happy. How am I living my life in line with my morals, my goals, what’s important to me, my children? Am I so focused on trying to please an unfeasible person who I’m not even happy within the things that I always wanted to be happy with and that’s my family, my children?
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