Another lie that all narcissists tell is some version of “You can count on me” or “You can depend on me.” Even if they don’t outright say it, they imply it. They want to make it seem like they are trustworthy. This is especially true for the covert narcissist. The reality of the situation is that sometimes you might be able to trust this person if it’s something convenient for them. If they’re not doing anything better, they might help you out. Especially if it makes them look good, they might help you out. But if none of those things apply, or if they have something better to do, you can bet that you’re going to be on your own. And here’s a comment that really encapsulates this lie: “He told me he was reliable and trustworthy. Nine years later, he brutally discarded me. He had been seeing another woman for the past three years.”
The next lie all narcissists tell is some variation of “I’m honest to a fault. I never lie. You can trust me.” Like we talked about in a previous comment, be very careful about anybody who needs to tell you how trustworthy or honest they are. The next lie that narcissists tell is, “I’ll change.” They may say this, or they may imply it. This one may even come with what I like to call an apology. Covert narcissists are more likely to apologize, and some narcissists never apologize. But this apology is a fake apology. It’s either an apology without changed behavior, which is not an apology at all, or it’s an apology that seems like an apology but it’s really not.
The next lie that all narcissists tell is sad but true, and that lie is “I love you.”
I know that this is a harsh truth, but when you observe someone behaving like a narcissist, it’s very difficult to imagine that they genuinely love you. However, they will say the words “I love you,” and they’ll say them very early on. It’s very common for a narcissist to express love in the first weeks of a relationship, and this is what happens in the love bombing phase. Throughout the relationship, they use those words and their purported love or affection as tools of abuse. They give it and take it away continually, creating a trauma bond.
I also feel compelled to mention that many narcissists may genuinely believe the words they’re saying when they utter “I love you.” However, it’s likely that they don’t fully understand what love is.
Here’s some valuable advice from the comment section: The first truth you need to tell yourself is that they never loved you. Once you start accepting that, you can begin to heal and stop romanticizing them, seeing them for who they really are—self-serving individuals draining your positive qualities to fill their own emptiness. The more you invest in a narcissist, the emptier and more depressed you’re likely to become.
The next lie a narcissist will tell is that you can’t trust yourself. They may explicitly state this or imply it through gaslighting over months or years, causing you to doubt your sense of reality. A narcissist might do something objectively hurtful and then deny it, making it challenging to understand the gradual erosion of your self-trust. If you’ve experienced this, you likely understand how these relationships attack your sense of self and your ability to trust yourself.
9 Lies Narcissists in Denial Tell Themselves
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