Did you know that you can always tell when a narcissist is lying? Just look for their lips moving. We’re going to get into some heavy stuff, but I thought maybe I’d start with some levity because once you learn about these lies and why narcissists tell them, that can tell you everything you need to know about this relationship. You may even be able to find some closure.
The first lie a narcissist will tell is “You’re safe with me” or “You can be vulnerable with me.” Really, this describes the entirety of the love-bombing phase because this phase is all about them getting you to let your guard down. They’re trying to make it seem like you have this intense connection, that you’ve known them forever, and that they’re the person in the world that you can trust the most. They might even ask you personal or probing questions. However, whether they ask questions or not, whatever vulnerabilities you express, they will almost certainly use those against you. It may not be an exact “I told you this, and then you threw it in my face,” although sometimes that happens. It can be more of the narcissist finding out your vulnerabilities so that they know which buttons to push. I’m going to share a comment that illustrates this really well, but first, let me introduce myself. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Christina, and I’m a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I specialize in covert abuse and trauma bond recovery. So if you’ve dealt with these things, check out the link in the description for more information on one-on-one support. Now, here’s the comment that shows exactly what a narcissist does with your insecurities: “When you confide in them about everything bad that ever happened to you, then they throw it up in your face when they’re mad for no reason.”
The next lie is one that I know many of you have heard. I’ve read your comments, and there are two sides to this, but it’s ultimately the same thing. They might say, “My ex was insane” or “All of my exes were insane.” They might say, “My ex is my best friend; I can’t live without this person.” In either situation, they could be cheating with that ex. It’s much more likely in the best-friend scenario, but it is also possible if they’re saying their ex is crazy. Really, when somebody says they have a crazy ex, especially multiple crazy exes, you have to wonder what drove them to that point. Some people are just extremely dramatic or jealous, and they might act in ways that we don’t expect or want in our lives, right? But you can really tell a lot about a person, especially up front, by paying attention to how they talk about their past relationships. Now, here’s a comment that really drives this best friend point home: “Mine told me every time he is my best friend, like a brother. Now I know why. Thank God I’m out of this situation.” And here’s one of many I found on the Crazy Ex topic: “Of course, many of her exes were crazy or stalkers. The worst was telling me an ex had cheated on her and how important faithfulness was to her. She’s the only girlfriend that ever cheated on me, and she did it in a horrible, gross way. For months, she started it when my dad died. I planned on marrying her. It was the cruelest.
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