Now, assuming that all attempts to hoover and love bomb and suck you back in and exploit you at your weakest and most vulnerable have failed because you’re neither weak nor vulnerable, but rather you’ve taken excellent care of yourself, You’ve not only established any contact, but you are going to the next level. You’re doing your own personal healing and recovery work. All of your time, energy, attention, and resources are focused on yourself: learning to love yourself, learning how to heal yourself, learning how to take excellent care of yourself, and learning how to live your best life as your best self. And as a result, you’ve maintained no contact, and all their tactics, games, and strategies have failed miserably.
What will happen next when a narcissist realizes they lost you is that they’ll send in the flying monkeys and little minions. That’s right, incoming meddling friends, neighbors, family members, and sometimes even coworkers, people who do not have the wisdom to mind their own business, people who lack boundaries, people who are in possession of half the story, and a very distorted half at that, but they think they have all the information, people who want you to believe that they mean well while offering their unsolicited advice from a very narrow perspective. And again, a distorted perspective. And the truth is, sometimes these people are as well-meaning, naive, and brainwashed as they may be. But let’s be honest: more often than not, if they’ve aligned with the narcissist and are delivering their messages like little errand boys and girls, these people are anything but well-meaning. They too have an agenda, and it likely has nothing to do with your best interests. So beware of the flying monkeys and meddling little minions. They, by the way, are a great place to start practicing setting healthy limits and boundaries.
Now, with that said, when all of these tactics fail to impress, what’s next? Well, tall tales, fairytales, and false images, my friends, Listen, hear me. Narcissistic people do not walk off into the sunset and live happily ever after with anyone. Forget what you see on social media or hear through the grapevine; it’s all an illusion. If they didn’t have it to give you, they aren’t suddenly going to grow a heart and a conscience and morph into the person who has it to give someone else. And by it, I mean showing up in a relationship like a kind and decent human being with a heart and a soul, with genuine empathy and a moral compass, and with healthy love to give. If they didn’t have it to give you, I promise you they aren’t suddenly going to have it to give to whoever is unfortunate enough to be their next source of supply. So stop hurting yourself with the notion that someone else is getting the love that you didn’t. Stop torturing yourself. Block the mother-effer, do your healing and recovery work, and start loving yourself instead.
Now, with all of that said, what you can expect next is a full-blown smear campaign. True story. If you hold the line, stand firm, and refuse to give into their hoovering tactics, flying monkeys, and little minions, even though they know full well they’ve blown what is likely to be the best thing that has ever happened or will ever happen to them, they will still smear you. Why? Because narcissists are bitter, resentful little cowards, no matter how appallingly they themselves have behaved, they will have to land on either the hero or the victim side of the story. And as such, they’ll cast you as the big bad villain to their victim. So know this in advance and brace yourself.
How To Get Over A Narcissist: 11 Essential Steps
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