What to Expect as the Narcissist Ages

Another thing that you will witness as the narcissist ages is that the abuse, they subject others to is going to increase in frequency and intensity. One of the main reasons this happens is that they are going to be losing the levels of narcissistic supply that they have become dependent on. As the levels of narcissistic supply decrease, that will cause them to have more and more narcissistic injuries or blows to their inflated ego. When that happens, it hits their true self that feels very vulnerable and inferior, which, in turn, will cause them to become very upset and emotionally dysregulated. When that happens, the way they emotionally regulate themselves is through abusing and humiliating other people. They essentially project those horrible feelings and beliefs they have about their true self onto those around them.

Many times, they will fly into a very frightening narcissistic rage, which is how they neutralize or equalize the narcissistic injury they received. And when the rage is over, the false self feels empowered and is back in the driver’s seat, and they feel better. All is good in their world again. But they could care less that they have made everyone around them suffer through the horror of their abuse. And because they feel better, they expect everyone they just abused and emotionally assaulted to be completely over it. It’s quite shocking really to watch a narcissist go from a violent rage into a quiet, calm, and controlled demeanor in a matter of minutes.

I remember those days very well. My father would have terrifying rages, during which I would cry so hard that I would hyperventilate. When it was over, he would look right at me and calmly tell me to go wash my face. That’s how I knew the rage was over, and that I had to get myself together and act as if nothing had happened. It’s a very surreal and incredibly confusing experience for a child to try and make sense of and process, but that’s how these people operate.

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