This statement is not an apology. The narcissist is basically telling you that whatever you’re feeling is not right or justified. They are telling you they don’t share your point of view. They are telling you that you are wrong to feel the way you do. They are taking no ownership of why you feel the way you do. They are implying that you are the one choosing to feel the way you do because they did nothing to contribute to what you are experiencing. They are basically telling you that you are the problem. You are the one who needs to get your feelings in check because they, the narcissist, did nothing to justify you feeling the way you do. And because of the empathetic beings that we are, we are willing to self-reflect to see if we are indeed overreacting or whether we are right to feel the way we do. The third statement narcissists like to use to make us feel like we are the problem is “you are too sensitive, lighten up. This statement is usually said by the narcissist after someone complains about something hurtful they might have said or done.
Narcissists like to use humor or jesting to cover up their malice, envy, and hate. So, when they embarrass us or make insensitive statements and we protest, they accuse us of being too sensitive. They accuse us of not being able to take a joke. They accuse us of making a fuss about nothing. They accuse us of being petty and insecure and say that we need to get over ourselves. Because they did nothing wrong, they said nothing wrong. We are the ones who need to check ourselves. But the narcissist knows exactly what they are doing.
Their motive is to hurt you. They want to embarrass you. But what they don’t want is for you to complain or call them out about it. So, when you do, they try to make you feel bad for doing it. They tried to pretend it was all in good fun, but you ruined it. The last statement I want to get into is, “You are the only person who has a problem with me. This is a favorite for the covert narcissist, as those who live with them get to see a side of them that many people do not see. The Covert Narcissist ensures that they have glowing reviews from the masses to outweigh what those in their homes or safe-zone have to say.
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