What happens when the Narcissist Loses control over you?

Some of the common ways in which they behave whenever they do lose control over someone are, first of all, believe it or not, they might actually apologize. They might actually say they’re sorry. And the thing is, they probably are, but not necessarily sorry for the things they ve done or for the pain they caused.

More often than not, they are sorry for the consequences that they know they will face. They are sorry that they’re being abandoned. They are sorry that others can now see them as they really are. Or there may be an apology, but it comes with some kind of excuse, such as, “It’s not me; it’s my anxiety.” I can’t help it; it’s my illness. It’s not my fault; it’s my addiction, or there may be a caveat of some kind, like, “I am sorry, but after all, you did say something ten years ago that I found quite offensive.” So even if you do get an apology, and even if it does sound very sincere, they tend to last but a moment, a minute, a day, a week even. They generally go back to doing the same things again. The very highly skilled ones just find a different way of doing the same thing. Or it might not necessarily be an apology; it might sound like they’re trying to reason with you.

10 Weird Habits Of A Covert Narcissists

Imagine someone going “grey rock,” where they’re just giving one-word answers, or maybe someone’s just gone “no contact” or not responding. They may get a text or an email, and it usually goes along the lines of, “I have no idea what I’ve done to hurt you, but I’ll always love you.” Following that, you’ll get a lot of word salad, and within that word salad there will be a veiled threat, which could be summed up as, “And I’m going to let other people know what you’re like.” By the way, I’ll always love you. But if you do get a message like that, or if you do get an apology, you know, pleading, tears, maybe you’re considering giving them another chance, well, I’m not going to talk you out of it, but what I will ask you to think about is to draw on your experience. How many apologies were there in the past? Now, there might not have been that many, but how many were there? And following the apology, the bad behavior changed? If it didn’t change, why do you think it will this time?

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