When you go silent with a narcissist:
So with all of that said, suffice it to say that when you go silent on a narcissist, and not in a passive-aggressive, game-playing, attention-seeking way, a narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish, manipulate, control, or hurt you. I don’t mean like that. What I mean is, when you go silent from a place of absolute certainty and clarity, or as close to it as you can manage, even if that’s simply sheer determination to finally choose better for yourself, when you go silent from a place of courage, confidence, and strength, a place that clearly communicates to the narcissist that they are absolutely insignificant, that they are literally of no consequence to you, this type of attitude
When you silence a narcissist from a position of absolute dominion over your emotional state and energetic force field — sovereign in who you are — calm, cool, clear, collected, poised, and detached — and maintain that stance consistently, reliably, and to yourself — you starve them out.
What you are doing:
You starve them of what has likely been the grade-A narcissistic supply—your vital life force energy—that they’ve been feeding off of and exploiting you for to this point. When you’re able to do this and sustain this posture, it’s game over. Maybe not immediately, but the longer and more consistently you hold the line, the sooner they will be forced to go elsewhere to get their sick needs met and leave you in peace. Which is what you want, right? You don’t need the last word; you don’t need to be right; you’re not going to get through to them no matter what you say, and they aren’t going to change. If you’re really smart, all you really want is peace and freedom. And let me tell you, silence is the fastest way to get there.
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