Limited knowledge often proves itself to be a harmful being. “Learning to spot covert narcissism can be more difficult and takes a certain level of specific awareness,” Davies states. “With the more overt types, it is an almost unapologetic ‘this is me’ presentation. With covert narcissists, their focus on meeting their own needs is masked by more subtle manipulation and control techniques. They can come across as sweet and innocent, even shy and introverted, and can also seem very caring and helpful. They can be the shoulder to cry on, but will use what you share with them against you further down the road, and ultimately, with the aim of manipulating you to feel indebted and grateful. Thus providing them with admiration and gratitude – narcissistic supply.”
They have a pleasant and innocent air about them. Some people may mistake them for being timid.
What else sets these stealthily attractive individuals apart, besides their stealthy armour and subtle weapons? When it comes to pathology, psychologists are in agreement that it’s the same at its core, but the way it’s presented might vary based on the individual. “Silent intruder and silent seducer,” as Davies describes the covert narcissist.
“In my experience the covert is far more dangerous than a grandiose,” says Slade. “Not only because they are harder to spot, but crucially, since they are more shame-based, they are more easily triggered into what’s known as ‘narcissistic rage’, which drives them to take spectacular revenge.”
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