Number three: “I just want what’s best for us.”
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know that this phrase has been abused frequently by the narcissist. Narcissists use it as a way to control their partner’s behavior. They’ll say, “I just want what’s best for us,” and “I just want to do what I want.” They’ll use this phrase to make you feel guilty if you don’t agree with them or don’t want the same things they do, even if those things are dangerous or harmful to your health. Narcissists will use this phrase to try and guilt trip you into giving up on your dreams to help them achieve theirs. This is a phrase that narcissists use, especially if they’re trying to get you to do something you’re not sure about. This phrase is often used in the context of an argument or disagreement, and it can be used to put you on the defensive. It’s important to remember that this person doesn’t care about what’s best for you. Narcissists only care about what they want. The best way to respond to this phrase is by asking them what they mean by “us,” and then telling them why you disagree with whatever they suggest.
Number four: “You’re lucky to have me.”
Narcissists use this phrase to make you think you’re the lucky one. You’re likely to have been told this often by your narcissistic partner, but it’s not true. Narcissists don’t care about anyone but themselves, so when they say “you’re lucky to have me,” they don’t mean it. Narcissists use this phrase because it makes you feel indebted to them, and it makes them feel superior. Narcissists know exactly how to play on your emotions to get you to do what they want and use that knowledge relentlessly. Narcissists manipulate you by making you feel lucky to have them in your life. They’ll tell you that without them, you’d be nothing and that their presence makes life worth living. They’ll let you know that they’re the only one who understands you or that no one else could ever love you as much as they do. And while it might seem like a compliment at first, we fall for this trap and become more susceptible to this manipulation over time. We start believing that maybe it’s true; perhaps we are lucky to have this person in our lives.
Number five: “This is our problem, not theirs.”
When you have a problem, it’s a good idea to reach out to people who can help. Narcissists don’t think that way. They only want you to talk about what’s going on internally so they don’t have to deal with outside stressors. This phrase is designed to make you feel like you’re in this together, even when they’re being total jerks. But they mean that they want to keep the issue internal and between the two of them so they can keep up their perfect image without looking bad in front of others. Narcissists are notorious for blaming you for any problems in your relationship. And it’s not just that they blame you; they shift the blame from themselves to you in a way that makes you feel like it’s your fault and no one else’s. “Our problem” implies that two people are involved in the problem, still when one person is a narcissist, they don’t see themselves as part of the problem. So, while the other person may have been involved in creating the situation, narcissists are not responsible for its outcome.
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