I don’t exaggerate when I suggest that a lot of things will happen. Do you picture a narcissist as someone who brags, “I’m the best there is”? Things didn’t go as planned; that much is clear. Examining my position is essential. No way. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions and improving, they turn the blame back on you. Consequently, they keep recycling the same dysfunctional patterns that are harmful to their development as a couple.
They try to force you to conform to their ideal—how you should think, act, respond, and form opinions on all topics. This is another sign that they are headed down a harmful path. That attitude is essentially, “Yeah, everything has to be my way.” They completely discount the existence of other characters’ viewpoints and opinions that are irrelevant and superfluous in their eyes.
They believe that the only way you can learn to accept each other despite your differences is if they insult you and try to change who you are deep down within. If the narcissist is successful in making you feel bad about yourself, you’ll conclude, “Wow, I need the narcissist to save me from my own terrible self.” That’s the way they reason. Refusing to admit you need help or that you make sense is another red flag that they are headed down a dangerous path. That would imply that they had resources beyond only their superiority, which they obviously don’t want to imply.
It’s clear they have trouble regarding you as a peer; they are only interested in you as long as you can satisfy their narcissistic needs. They are self-destructive because they can’t see beyond the present; they aren’t thinking about the long-term consequences of their current behavior. I’ve seen many people get themselves into trouble due to things like substance abuse, extramarital affairs, bad financial planning, and rude behavior toward others, and eventually, those problems have to be dealt with.
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