When I’m abusing my partner, one of my favorite things to do is to give her the silent treatment. When I know that she’s anxious and desperate to speak to me and all she wants is the validation of knowing I’m there, that I still care, or finding out where I am or who I’m with, I find it productive to go completely silent and give her nothing at all. In that empty space, all of her worst fears can be manifested as her imagination takes over, and all of her fears begin to completely consume her. The silent treatment is an excellent form of narcissistic abuse and control, precisely because it induces such a large amount of distress in the victim, in the target, with very little effort.
The next thing I like to do is triangulation. So there’s me, there’s her, and then there’s a third party that I can bring in. If I can induce dread or fear in her by making her paranoid that there’s another girl who is taking my attention or filling up that space, that’s a good way of inducing jealousy, which she will then hate herself for, so that’s handy. Also, the terror of abandonment in her that I’m going to leave her or cheat on her and somehow desecrate the sanctity of our relationship is another way to induce distress.
By introducing a third person into the scenario, I suggest that there are other people judging her and that her perspective is the wrong perspective. Then, she starts to get this sense that she’s besieged by enemies. It’s not just me; there’s now a collective growing of people who believe that her perspective is wrong and that my perspective is the right perspective. This is a good way of slowly driving somebody crazy over time and convincing them that their perception of the situation is wrong, no matter what the situation is and no matter what their perceptions are.
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