If you want to learn about this principle in-depth and detail, you may want to check my course out, my program, “Master Co-Parenting with the Narcissist,” which just got an update and I released it yesterday. I am running a discount on it right now. If you want to enroll, you can click the “I” button above or the link in the description of this episode. Another thing that you would want to do is create safety for them. How? Communicate. Have conversations with them. Be communicative. Talk to them. Just don’t cover it up. The wound is really deep; it needs stitches, and that is going to be a process for you. You can’t just cover it up and say that, “Oh, let’s push it under the rug and then it will be resolved.” Of course, that’s not going to happen. The issue is going to get worse later, and then you’re going to feel bad about it. Communicate. Talk about things. Sit with them, play with them, spend time with them. Most importantly, help them feel safe around you, but at the same time, discipline them properly. Say no when they throw a tantrum. Hold space but, at the same time, show them what it is like to process anger in a healthy way. They can’t go around hurting people or destroying things. Children are more intelligent than adults; they don’t believe in what you say. Show them. If you yourself are reactive and you are struggling a lot, that is going to traumatize them. We call that vicarious traumatization. Show them. Set examples. Whatever you teach them, show them exactly; don’t tell them. For example, if they don’t want to brush their teeth in the evening before going to bed, now you can force them; that’s not going to work. They’ll hate you for it. Show them why. What is your intention? You don’t want their teeth to go bad. So what can you do? Show them a video, for example, and show them exactly what happens if you don’t clean your teeth: painful tooth extraction. So they will understand why. What is your point? Then, you will see a big breakthrough.
All in all, I can say don’t be an unconscious parent, be a heart-centered parent, be connected with your own body, with your own impulses. Understand your child’s behavior. Learn about parenting. It’s one of the most difficult jobs to do, let alone parenting with a narcissist; that makes it even more complicated. And if you want to learn in-depth exactly what to do and what not to do and what to say, everything, I have covered it in my program, “Master Co-Parenting with a Narcissist,” that I released yesterday. You can enroll right now by clicking the “I” button above or the link in the description of this episode. Trust yourself. Don’t be afraid of hurting the child. Don’t be an anxious parent; that makes it really difficult for the child to navigate the world. Be centered in your truth, be grounded in your truth. Show them the truth when they bring it to you; don’t cover it up. Reprogram their brain. Notice what they’re believing about themselves because of how the narcissist is treating them, and just extract those beliefs and replace them with positive ones. For example, “I am worthless” put in, “You are worthy, you’re beautiful, you’re acceptable.” Keep reprogramming; this is one of the biggest projects you will ever do. So put in everything that you can.
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