How to Beat a Narcissist at Their Own Game | Story time - Page 3 of 4

This one is a little tricky, but if you know that the narcissist you are dealing with is extremely image-focused, you can think of all the ways to use that against them. For example, if this narcissist wants to be perceived as an amazing parent by the people involved in this case, the court system, the police, whomever, then you would want to trigger that. You would want to push your decisions, make them about the welfare of your children, so that the narcissist feels compelled to agree, even when they don’t want to. Or some narcissists are extremely paranoid, so how can you trigger that paranoia, the paranoia of bad exposure, and then make them feel compelled that they have to do it, or otherwise, everybody will know who they are? Or can you trigger their impulsivity? They are extremely impulsive. How can you offer them something that would lure the narcissist into the trap of wanting instant gratification? What is instant gratification for the narcissist? Feeling powerful, feeling control, or having their ego stroked. Think about all these things and come up with your own unique strategies to use their traits against them so that they do what you want them to do.

State Facts Always & Do Not Chase Winning

If you go after winning obsessively, you may lose track because the narcissist knows how to cleverly and strategically maneuver. They know what buttons to push to derail you, to hamper your progress. So your focus should be on the present moment and handling the challenges they are presenting, not on winning always. Yes, that should be the ultimate goal, but don’t be misled by it. When I say state facts, I’m talking about gathering the evidence or presenting the evidence that you have for each behavior of theirs. You know you cannot call them a narcissist in the court system, or if you call them a narcissist in front of those people who are more objective and are judging the situation, they may say, “Oh, you’re psycholabeling this person. How do you know? Being assessed as a narcissist takes months.” You know how that goes. So, what do you do? How can you handle that very cleverly? You point out all their behavioral traits. For example, a narcissist is arrogant, vindictive, punitive, non-cooperative, not amicable, rigid, condescending, exploitative, extreme in their approach, sometimes maven, sadistic. I can go on and on and on. What I’m trying to do here is I am trying to help you think of all the traits that you can name, the labels that can describe their personality, instead of calling them what they actually are, which is a narcissist. And then, for each trait that you have, gather your evidence. Describe how they are arrogant, how they are maven, how they are rigid. Give examples, and then point out the proof. Either show the proof if you need to or keep it ready. If you have text messages, make a folder of those text messages and name it “Exploitation,” and then you know where to go to find proof of this. What I want you to do is I want you to write a book about this person, a biography. Describe their personality. Literally, open a Word document and describe them, describe these traits, and for each trait, have detailed examples, have a detailed description, and then have evidence for the same. That will help you be perceived as rational, logical, the sane one, the person who has things in control, and the person who has a lot to show rather than a lot to say because the narcissist will have a lot to say; they don’t have proof, you do. So your documentation will help you here; you just have to know how to use it properly.