How Narcissists Groom Their Targets

6. abusive grooming techniques :

As the relationship progresses and the narcissist’s lies are exposed to the target, and the target is becoming somewhat concerned about what’s actually happening in their life versus this fake future they were promised, the narcissist will use guilt trips to confuse the target and blame shifting to manipulate the target into believing.The problems they are now having aren’t the narcissist’s fault; they are actually their fault, and unfortunately, usually at this point, the target still does not have any clue who or what they are dealing with, and because they could not imagine gaslighting another person in this manner, most times the target will accept responsibility for the problems and the lies they were told, as well as where the relationship is versus where they thought it would be.

This is a critical moment. In the grooming process, and from this point forward, the narcissist will begin to blame the target for all the chaos and destruction, but the narcissist is actually responsible for another grooming technique that the narcissist will use on the target to condition them to believe things that are not true: the narcissist will play the victim with regard to their irresponsible, chaotic, and abusive behavior. They will blame their behavior on their childhood, on their school years, on their bus, on their parents, on their friends, or on the actual victim. You and they are incredible convincers, getting people to actually believe they are indeed some kind of victim, and at this point the trauma bond is well on its way to being established. The victim is usually emotionally, physically, and financially invested in this relationship at this point, and although the target may find this victim excused or suspicious, more times than not they will go along with the narrative because they are in complete and total denial about the reality of the situation they have now found themselves in.

The One Thing That Narcissists Will Always Do In Your Absence

The grooming and conditioning techniques The narcissist becomes abusive and begins to use threats and emotional blackmail to keep the victim in line with what they want. For example, they will threaten the victim if he or she leaves, telling him or her what they will do: how they will leave them penniless and alone; how they will take the children and they will never see them again; or how they will smear them to everyone they know.

The narcissist is usually in complete control of the situation and the relationship, and the victim is scared to death and doesn’t know what to do. Because of that, many victims decide to stay with the narcissist, and unfortunately, the abuse will only get more frequent and more intense as the years go by, but every once in a while the narcissist will be kind and loving to the victim, giving them false hope that if they just try harder and do better, they could have this nice and loving version of the narcissist all the time. The nice and loving version of the narcissist is nothing more than a manipulation tactic to keep the victim confused and consumed with trying to keep the narcissist happy at all times.

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