Behavior Number Four: speaking your truth. When asked about why you left the narcissist, you may share your experiences and the mistreatment you endured. While sharing your story, you might question yourself, but the intention is to convey the truth about the narcissist’s behavior. This might seem similar to a narcissist running a smear campaign against you, but there’s a crucial difference. A narcissist’s smear campaign is orchestrated to control how others see you, isolating you and causing more harm. When you speak your truth, you are not smearing their name; you are sharing your pain and the reality of the narcissist’s actions, allowing others to see their destructive behavior.
5. Depending for Support Outside the Relationship
The last one: depending for support on somebody outside the relationship. This behavior might be seen as contradictory, as ideally, one should leave the narcissist before finding support from someone else. However, in complex situations, survivors, deprived of essential elements in the relationship, may seek support outside. This can involve forming a bond with a third person who provides the needed compassion and empathy. While this might seem like cheating or toxic behavior, it is crucial to understand the context. Context matters, and your circumstances are different from those of a narcissist. Narcissists cheat regardless, while you sought support after years of waiting and desperation. It may be unhealthy or toxic, but it is not narcissistic.
In conclusion, forgive yourself, hold yourself accountable, and let go of self-blame. Context matters and your actions were driven by survival and self-preservation, not a desire for control or harm. Remember, you are not like the narcissist; your intent and motivations differ. Let the healing begin and continue.
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