The following things I am going to go through can happen in any order or simultaneously, but they will occur. The narcissist will try to do these things to gain the most control they can. So, one of the first things the narcissist will attack is your relationships. Whatever friendships or family relationships you may have, the narcissist will look to generate conflict. They will triangulate and discredit anyone who is close to you in a bid to become the only person you can rely on.
The narcissist is trying to isolate you by creating a distrust of those that they think are too close to you. The narcissist is hoping that either you will turn your back on them or they will turn their back on you.
The narcissist wants you all to themselves so that when they hurt you, you’ll have no one to turn to. The second thing the narrator would attack is your self-esteem. They would become very critical or judgmental of your actions. It always amazes me how the narcissist builds you up before tearing you down. But it is because of this that they are able to be so effective. Because once upon a time they validated us and made us feel special, so when they turn around and do the opposite straight away, we think that their critiques and devaluations must also be valid. They would criticize what you say, what you do, and your appearance. They will gaslight you to make you doubt your sanity and capabilities. They will give you degrading or insulting looks. They will become easily irritated or annoyed with you. They will devalue you and not validate you. They will disregard your opinions or advice.
A very wonderful book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself (English Edition)
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