Do Highly Sensitive People Attract Narcissists?

The personality traits of a narcissist and a very sensitive person are opposed. Thus, what one lacks the other has, making attraction instantaneous.

People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have an exaggerated perception of their importance, need constant admiration, and feel no empathy for others. The other personality traits of narcissists are:

  • They think they are superior;
  • They are selfish;
  • They don’t know how to listen or how to put themselves in the other person’s shoes;
  • They belittle others, pointing out their flaws;
  • They are controlling people.

Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) have high sensitivity and capture the details and nuances of everything. Their main characteristics are:

  • They are very empathetic and intuitive;
  • They like solitude;
  • They are more reflective;
  • They have more emotional responses;
  • They are more detailed than others.

As we can see, the personality traits of a narcissist and a very sensitive person are opposite. So why do SSPs attract and are so attracted to narcissists?

According to psychologists, narcissists have an infinite need to be the center of attention and to feel special. They like to receive attention and consideration. They want all their wishes to be fulfilled. Very sensitive people feel truly satisfied when they take care of the other when they help the other. They need not be the center of attention. They are generous.

Thus, one lacks what the other possesses, which makes attraction instantaneous. To win the love of a very sensitive person, the narcissist acts in a false way. He is loving, courteous, warm, and charming.

At first, the connection works well. However, over time, the relationship becomes one-sided. The narcissist receives all the love, patience, care, and attention of SSP giving nothing in return. Often the demands increase, leaving the extremely sensitive person exhausted. When SSP realizes that his or her needs are equally important and tries to balance the relationship, the other person will call him or her selfish, insensitive, etc.

In this phase, blaming and discussions begin and can even lead to physical aggression. And the more the narcissist mistreats his partner, the more he will cling to this toxic relationship, trying to improve it, looking for a way out of the problems.

How to break the relationship with a narcissistic person?

It is difficult to break the relationship with a narcissist because these types of people rarely accept when the breakup starts on the other. He thinks he’s so good and has so many good qualities that he can’t stand the thought of being left behind.

The first step is to recognize that you are with such a person. In addition, it is important to:

Be prepared to face the reaction when you go to announce that you are breaking up the relationship: When informed of your decision, it is common for the narcissist to act out, be aggressive and say things like “you are crazy”, “you are ungrateful”, “I did everything for you”. Don’t listen to him. Trust the reasons that led you to make this decision and stick to it. When you are ready to go, go ahead, and follow your beliefs.

Don’t believe your false promises: most times, the narcissist will come up with false promises to prevent the relationship from ending To make you believe that this change is real, they will become loving, kind, surprise you, etc. Don’t be fooled. If you resume the relationship, after a short time everything will be as before.

Think about the future: Focus on plans. It’s hard at first to break up with a narcissist, but later on, you’ll feel relieved that you don’t have someone around you who has absorbed all of your energy.

Take care of yourself: Never doubt that you deserve a relationship with someone who can truly share your love. Take care of yourself. Try to do enjoyable activities and be with someone who really loves you.

Reflect on what happened: bad or good, life experiences help us grow. Don’t blame yourself or punish yourself for having a relationship with a narcissist. However, learn to set boundaries and say no to abuse so you don’t repeat such a relationship.

If you notice that you can’t get out of the relationship, it may be time to seek help from a psychologist. A therapist will help you gather your strength to end the story and realize what happened so you can rebuild your path in a different way.

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