How To Spot A Narcissist's Baiting Tactics

Narcissists will often elicit personal or sensitive disclosures from you under the guise of care or curiosity. Later, they weaponize that information, turning it against you. For instance, if you once confided about a mistake or a regret, they may bring it up in an argument, saying, “You can’t do anything right. Even you admitted it.”

2. Counter-Confrontations

When you address an issue with them—perhaps pointing out a broken promise—they will often redirect the focus by bringing up unrelated faults of yours. For example, if you say, “You didn’t follow through on what you promised, and it disrupted my plans,” they might respond, “Oh, really? Well, let’s talk about the time you completely messed up last month.” It’s a deflection tactic meant to avoid accountability.

3. Provoking Arguments Over Controversial Topics

They often pick fights over subjects they know will upset you—politics, religion, or family dynamics—just to accuse you of being ignorant or closed-minded. When you react, they’ll claim you’re too sensitive or incapable of having a rational discussion.

4. Chronic Fault-Finding

Narcissists are relentless in pointing out your flaws, often zeroing in on trivial matters. They may criticize you for how you cook, how you dress, or even how you phrase something, making it clear that you can never fully satisfy them.

5. Triangulation

They love to play people against each other. For example, they might say, “John agrees with me that you’re difficult to work with,” or, “Your mother told me she doesn’t know how to deal with you either.” This creates insecurity and doubt in your relationships.