Why Narcissistic Abuse Victims Avoid Cleaning and Tidying Up

If you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, your cleaning routines may feel all over the place, making it tough to build healthy habits. One day you might clean like a champ, and the next, you might just want to bury yourself under a pile of laundry. As habits expert James Clear puts it, “You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” Without a consistent routine, it’s hard to make cleaning feel like a regular part of your life. Try starting small, like setting a timer for just five minutes to tidy up one area. Making it a daily habit will make it easier to establish a routine that works for you over time.

Number seven: Perceived futility

Victims of narcissistic abuse might feel like cleaning is a waste of time because they believe it won’t make a difference in the long run. This feeling, called perceived futility, can sap motivation. Sometimes, starting with small tasks can help shift that mindset. When you see even a little progress, it shows that change is possible, even if it feels slow. So maybe pick one spot to clean today—just one. You might be surprised at how good it feels to create even a tiny change in your space.