Why Narcissistic Abuse Victims Avoid Cleaning and Tidying Up

Victims of narcissistic abuse often feel like they’re left in chaos with no one to help, making even the simplest tidying up seem like a heavy task. It’s like being asked to assemble IKEA furniture without instructions—frustrating and confusing. Dr. Anne Brown says you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Reaching out is a sign of strength. Finding even one person to help or just talk to can make a huge difference. Whether it’s a friend or a support group, having someone by your side can lighten the load and motivate you to take those small steps toward a tidier space.

Number three: Misplaced priorities

When you’re dealing with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, it’s easy to prioritize your emotional needs and forget about practical tasks like cleaning. You might feel like tackling your feelings is more important than tidying your space—and that’s totally okay. As psychologist Dr. Judith Orloff says, “Self-care is not selfish; it’s essential.” Processing your emotions is important, but remember that a messy environment can also weigh you down emotionally. Start with small tasks when you feel up to them—just a few minutes of cleaning can help create a more peaceful space and make it easier to focus on your emotional healing.