Why Narcissistic Abuse Makes You Look Lazy (But It’s Not Your Fault)
People who have experienced narcissistic abuse tend to become lazy, and you’re about to find out why. This isn’t about shaming anyone or calling them out; it’s about understanding what really happens when someone has been mentally and emotionally run through the wringer. If you’ve ever looked at yourself and wondered, “Why can’t I get things done like I used to?” this one’s for you. Here are nine reasons why those abused by narcissists become lazy.
Are you ready for number one? Fear of Failure or Success. For victims of narcissistic abuse, every step forward feels like a setup for failure. That’s what it can feel like when you’ve been emotionally bruised by a narcissist. You might notice yourself procrastinating, putting things off, or even avoiding goals altogether. Deep down, your nervous system has linked effort with danger. When narcissists constantly criticize or mock your achievements, your brain learns to equate trying with trauma. Dr. Nicole LePera, author of How to Do the Work, explains that when we experience chronic invalidation, we begin to internalize the belief that failure is inevitable or that success will come at a cost. So, you freeze, stuck between the fear of failing and the fear of what success might trigger: jealousy, sabotage, or even more emotional chaos.
Let’s talk about number two: Executive Dysfunction. Have you ever felt like your brain has a million tabs open but none of them are loading? When you’ve been abused by a narcissist, your brain goes into survival mode. The trauma messes with your prefrontal cortex, which is the part that helps you plan, focus, and make decisions. So when you can’t start a task or finish one, it’s due to a brain short circuit. Dr. Janina Fisher, in her book Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, explains that executive functions are compromised by chronic trauma because the brain learns to prioritize survival over everything else. Your mind is trying to heal while still dodging emotional landmines, which is why you can’t cross even one task off your to-do list.
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