Why Does a Narcissist appear Caring During a Crisis?
While a narcissist leaves you for the wolves when you need them the most, in rare cases they may care for you or pretend to care for you when you are in a crisis. But why do they pretend to care when they’re so selfish? Let’s get answers to these questions in this episode.
Let’s start with a question: Did the narcissist who hurt you appear caring at any time during the entire relationship? If yes, what do you think was the reason? Drop your answers in the comments below and connect with other survivors.
There are two main reasons why narcissists appear caring during a crisis.
The first reason is the narcissist’s need for attention. They need admiration and to feel important. A narcissist knows that during a crisis, the focus of those around them is likely to shift toward the situation at hand. They realize this shift will be distressing for them, as they are no longer the center of attention. So, they try to regain it by becoming caring, altruistic, compassionate, selfless, and very helpful. This way, they gain recognition and praise from those around them, which reinforces their false sense of self-importance, restores their control, and greatly satisfies their ego. They feel validated, more important, and valued by others.
In truth, they do not care about what happens to you or other people involved in the situation. In fact, they use their feigned helpfulness as a way to make you think they can think beyond themselves when it is all about them. By positioning themselves as problem solvers and appearing capable of taking care of everything, a narcissist asserts their dominance over others. This control and power are highly valued by them, and they will go to great lengths to maintain it.
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