When You Stop Being Available, Everything Changes – Carl Jung

But when you change, when you set a boundary, when you refuse to react, those same people get irritated, accuse you, say you are weird. It’s not because you changed; it’s because you stopped being functional for them. And here’s the cruelest point: the more available you are, the less value others give you. Because what is too abundant becomes an emotional rag. No one respects what they don’t have to earn. No one values what is always there.

So now stop and think: who truly deserves your time? Who deserves your attention, your presence, your listening? Or better yet, who deserves your absence? But before answering that, we need to understand one essential thing: why do we react so much? Why do we give in so easily? What is behind this almost automatic desire to respond, justify, and please?

The answer lies in what Carl Jung called psychic energy, and that is what we will talk about in the next part. Because your energy is all you have, and if you don’t learn to protect it, someone will use it against you. If this content is making sense to you, click the subscribe button and subscribe to the channel. Thank you for your support.

Carl Jung did not see the human psyche as an automatic machine that reacts to stimuli without consequences. For him, our mind is like an energy system, and every thought, emotion, and action consumes a part of that energy. The question is: are you choosing where your energy goes, or are you letting the world decide for you? Every time you react impulsively, you are wasting psychic energy. When you defend yourself against a criticism that didn’t even deserve attention, when you respond to a provocation just to prove you are right, when you engage in useless discussions, when you try to please those who do not value you—you are spending your inner strength on what does not nourish you. And Jung was clear: that which you resist persists.

The more you react, the more you bind yourself. People who live emotionally drained are not weak; they are misdirected. And do you know what happens to someone who lives exhausted? They become vulnerable. And when you are vulnerable, you become easy prey for manipulative, opportunistic, and emotionally needy people. They can sense this. They notice that you do not know how to guard your energy, that you react to everything, that you are always trying to solve the world, and they take advantage of it.

Jung said that a healthy psyche is one that knows how to keep energy within the system. This means knowing how to say “no” without guilt, knowing how to remain silent without feeling cowardly, knowing how to observe before acting. Because true power is not in reacting; it is in choosing when and how to act. And this is only possible when you know yourself well enough to recognize your own impulses.

How many times have you lost sleep over an unresolved conversation? How many times have you spent hours ruminating on what you should have said or trying to understand why someone treated you poorly? This is energy being drained without return. You are keeping alive ghosts that should have died long ago, and feeding dynamics that only exist because you insist on responding.

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