Narcissists believe their self-esteem depends on lowering the self-esteem of others. Even when we resist their love-bombing attempts, they remain determined to make us give in. Narcissists use various methods to manipulate others, including playing the victim to gain sympathy when flattery and charm fail. They have little regard for others’ feelings and will settle for any form of attention—love, admiration, pity, or even hatred. Any emotional involvement gives them a sense of importance.
If they can make you feel sorry for them, they’ll exploit that strategy, often combining it with flattery and charm. For example, they may fake illness or claim to be afflicted to gain your attention. They might even harm themselves deliberately to draw you in. Narcissists are skilled actors, appearing vulnerable and humble to earn your trust, but their goal is always to ruin you.
They will not hesitate to turn on you, even after you’ve helped them. Narcissists aspire to maintain complete power and authority over others at all costs. They may pretend to be smitten with you or play the victim to manipulate you. Once they’ve extracted everything they can from you, they cast you aside.
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