Narcissists need your compliance, submission, and enablement of their dysfunctional ways. I know from experience that this can be exhausting. Along with this intense neediness comes a range of undesirable traits. At times, the narcissist may engage in love bombing or offer favors in an attempt to draw you into their sphere. However, over time, you may realize that there is often a hidden agenda behind their actions.
You might start to see how critical they actually are. They can have episodes of anger that range from muted irritation to explosive rage. Often, there’s an underlying tension that you can feel, even if they don’t directly express it. Too frequently, they engage in complaining and griping, leading to circular arguments that can drain your energy.
How many times have you experienced what I call their “stupid salesmanship”? Narcissists often plead their case, trying to convince you that you must think or act according to their dictates. This relentless persuasion can feel like a burden, as they use twisted logic to manipulate your feelings. When you don’t comply with their demands or expectations, they may exhibit hurt feelings, leading to a persistent sense of walking on eggshells.
You might find yourself asking, “What’s the upside of my relationship with this person?” Is this individual contributing positively to my quality of life? Am I a better person because of my association with them? Do I feel appreciated, or am I merely being used? Will they have my back when I need support?
As you ponder these questions, you may find yourself increasingly disillusioned. When you try to express your feelings to the narcissist, they often double down, insisting you’re wrong and demanding that you conform to their perspective. This dynamic can become exhausting as they insist that you fulfill their needs.
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