When a Narcissist Hurts You, Confuse Them By Doing This

It confuses them because pain has always been their way in. They do not understand that true power is when you can hold your ground without any drama, when you can walk away without saying a word, when you can sit across from someone who tried to ruin you and look at them with the same calm as you would look at a stranger on the street. They do not expect that, and they do not know what to do with it. They will say you have changed—that you are heartless, that you are cold, that you are not the person you used to be. Good. That’s what we want, because the person you used to be was soft, forgiving even after being discarded, explaining when they did not deserve a response at all. That person was fuel, what we call supply, a safety net. The new you? You are a threat. You are proof that healing is real, that love does not require approval, that closure can come without a conversation, that self-respect is stronger than trauma bonding.

Nothing confuses a narcissist more than someone who walked through hell and came out with peace instead of pain. They thought they were your god, your source, your final chapter. So when you treat them like a footnote, like a passing phase, like a lesson that is no longer relevant, it crushes their sense of false self. Because now you are not just healed; you are elevated. You become a mirror they cannot look into anymore, because that mirror does not reflect a broken person; it reflects their failure. They failed to destroy you. They failed to keep you small. They failed to convince you that you were unlovable. And that failure, that failure echoes, my dear survivor; it haunts them.

They keep wondering: how? How did you do it? How did you not collapse? How did you not become bitter? How did you rebuild faster than they expected? How did you seem to get stronger with every silent mile you placed between them and your soul? That confusion becomes obsession. So what do they do? They stalk you silently. They will try to read between the lines; they will ask mutuals about you. They will scroll through your pictures at 3:00 a.m., trying to read your face, trying to detect if you have truly moved on, if you are truly fine, if you are truly unreachable. And if you keep showing up consistent, centered, grounded, it begins to erode them.

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