They will try to bait you again—subtly, through a fake apology, through someone else you know, their games, through a post aimed at you, through passive-aggressive texts, or through sudden kindness. Please don’t fall for it. If they can get you to break your calm, if they can make you react, they can feel real again, relevant, powerful. And if you do not, they start to spiral.
Some narcissists enter what is known as a covert collapse. It is when their mask begins to crack, their false self begins to fall apart—not in public, but in private. Sleepless nights, irritability, addiction spikes, panic, self-harm, random emotional breakdowns—your lack of reaction brings their demons to the surface. If I were to put it that way, they wanted to break you to prove their superiority; instead, they accidentally unearthed their own fragility.
When a narcissist hurts you, you can confuse them the most by healing in silence—not a silence of suppression, but a silence of elevation, a silence filled with reinvention. That silence forces them to confront something they have been running from their entire life: they do not matter as much as they think they do. And that is the most humiliating realization for a narcissist.
The narcissist is hoping to anchor themselves in your nervous system. That means they want to condition you; every time you flinch, cry, or explain, they’re programming your body to see them as the source of your emotional weather. You reverse that damage by not flinching, even when it hurts, even when your body wants to scream. You show your system a new pattern: that safety doesn’t mean being loved by them; that safety now lives in your own reaction. That peace is a choice; you do not need their permission to feel it.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment