What the narcissist thinks when you finally leave them alone after the discard

Narcissists can get quite anxious when they’ve pushed you away and you go silent, meaning you’re not the little noisy fly in the background trying to attach yourself to them again or seeking any form of closure or validation. You’re not that nuance they so desperately want. When they push you away, if you do become a nuisance and keep chasing them, they definitely won’t let you back in. Instead, they’ll be wondering, “Oh God, why won’t this person just leave me alone?” They might think you have “stalker vibes” because you keep harassing them and won’t leave them alone. They may either ignore you or say something very nasty to make you feel bad about yourself.

However, when you don’t give the narcissist a reason to label you as annoying, they become very unsettled. They become curious and filled with self-doubt about why you aren’t chasing them or seeking closure. They are masters at feeding others contradictory information, leaving those who are broken and confused, where the only way to get a fix is through the narcissist. The narcissist tries to break and confuse you, making themselves the only one who can fix it. But when you aren’t seeking the fix or closure, does that mean you’ve figured them out?

Most narcissists don’t even know what narcissism is. They don’t see themselves as narcissists; they see themselves as clever and powerful manipulators who think they’re more intelligent than everyone else. They perceive themselves as having full control over you, but when you’re not playing your part and you’re not the nuisance they need, they become lost. Yes, if you become a nuisance after being discarded, they will not consider taking you back or respecting you.

At the same time, they want to put you in a position where they can disrespect you even more, thinking that you are worthless. They need that for their self-validation. When you don’t give it to them, it’s like you’ve crucified them.

With a narcissist, there’s really no alternative for them. They cannot feel better about your absence without you playing the role they need. Over time, your silence, your lack of response, and the fact that you’re moving on, can leave them in turmoil. Their ego takes a hit, and they suffer a severe narcissistic injury because your silence becomes louder and louder.

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