Today’s topic comes from many different questions within and around the same subject. What are the common reactions? What are the common behaviors of a narcissistic person whenever their tactics no longer work? Whenever you’re on to them, whenever they’ve been exposed. One way or another, what happens when a narcissistic person feels they no longer have the control over someone that they once had.
First of all, narcissism can be characterized by a sense of entitlement, being self-absorbed, being disagreeable, and either being highly sensitive or highly resistant to criticism. They, they can be exploitative, manipulative, and they lack of empathy. And yes, let’s be honest, we can all be a little bit like that from time to time. But with narcissism, with pathological narcissism, what we see is that these behaviors are consistent, they are persistent, and they are pervasive. They are constant. So, what happens when someone is onto them and someone figures them out? That is a reasonable question to ask, given that they can be quite vindictive.
Sometimes we have no idea how they might react. But if you have been in a relationship with someone who’s narcissistic now, when I was a partnership of friendship, or perhaps you were raised in a narcissistic family, you have a fair idea they are not going to react well once they feel they can no longer control you. So, to understand that, remember that narcissistic people tend to value themselves based on how others admire them and pander to them.
They have a very poor sense of themselves and very poor insight. They need attention and validation, and if others will not give it to them voluntarily, or to the unreasonable standards that they demand, they will manipulate, coerce, bully, guilt-trip, and shame in order to get it. They live in an internal world full of envy and shame, and the strange thing is that they tend to act in very shameful ways in order to escape that feeling of shame. And those behaviors—things like devaluing, rejecting, punishing, cheating, scorning, and so on—are often the very things that drive people away.
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