When you stop chasing a narcissist, you don’t just walk away—you destroy their ego. How?
By rewriting the rules of a game they designed to keep you trapped. You disrupt their entire playbook and prove they are a failure.
How?
By not feeding their need for control. You don’t overanalyze their coldness, beg for scraps of attention, or focus on fixing the situation anymore.
And that’s when you show them a mirror
Today, I want to talk about what happens when you stop chasing a narcissist—not just to you, but to them as well.
If you’ve been betrayed by a narcissist, you know the pain of being left with a deep moral wound. This wound makes it hard to trust yourself and others.
Unfortunately, this moral injury doesn’t go away with time. It requires deep inner healing, which you can begin with my Overcoming Betrayal Trauma program that I just launched.
You can click the I button above or the link in the description to get instant access at an early-bird price.
Erratic Behavior of Narcissists
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When you refuse to chase the narcissist, their behavior becomes erratic.
Their tactics—stonewalling, silent treatment, or withholding affection—start to crumble under the weight of their need for validation.
Their ego gets in the way, and it becomes their biggest enemy. It’s what leads to their downfall.
They become unsettled and are forced to confront a void they’ve been avoiding their whole life.
And that void is their insecurity.
Narcissist’s Desperation and Manipulation
After ignoring you for days, the narcissist may send a casual “Hey” as if nothing happened.
They’ll want you to play along and hope to reel you back into their life with crumbs of attention.
But when you don’t react, they panic. Their silence loses its power, and they break it first, which is a big narcissistic injury.
They show you just how much they need you—and depend on your life force to survive.
They might text you about a shared memory, saying something like, “Remember when we celebrated my birthday together?” or “When we went to that nice spot?”
Why?
To elicit a positive emotion from you that will change your perception and make you give them another chance.
They might like your old pictures or create a crisis that will guilt-trip you into responding or chasing them again.
But if that fails, they rage, blame you, or outright deny reaching out.
They’ll accuse you of being cold or selfish for not chasing them.
They know that by weaponizing your moral values, you’ll do the “right” thing to prove you’re not a bad person.
To show you’re not cold, you’ll start chasing them again.
That’s their goal.
But if you continue standing firm, they become desperate because your indifference challenges their assumption:
That they can make anyone obsessed with them.
One of my clients shared that when she stopped begging the narcissist, he called her heartless.
But for the first time, she saw how fragile his ego was.
He needed her pain to feel strong. It was pathetic.
Role Reversal and Revenge
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When you don’t give in, the narcissist usually keeps chasing you until they flip the situation and get your attention.
This is when things get crazy.
Once they get you, their punishment begins.
They start ignoring you, devaluing you, putting you down—doing things you never thought they would do.
Their behavior changes, and you wonder, “What did I do for them to act like this? Who is this person? They wanted me so badly. Was that all a lie?”
They hurt you for making them try so hard.
They give it back to you as revenge.
It’s revenge.
This is where many strong-willed survivors get trapped.
They get caught up trying to solve a broken puzzle, one that’s missing pieces.
I call this role reversal.
They were chasing you, but now they make you chase them.
However, here’s the good news.
Becoming Untouchable
When you fully stop going after them or acknowledging them, you don’t give in—you become untouchable.
This is a narcissist’s true kryptonite.
Without your reactions to feed on, the narcissist’s tricks lose their power, and you start seeing the relationship for what it really is: a power struggle, not love.
Without the mask, the narcissist’s charm fades, exposing the emptiness or ugliness beneath.
Many people have told me, “When I stopped caring, they became boring. All their stories were lies. That confidence was fake, and I saw it.”
Spiritual Attacks and Protection
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When nothing else works, narcissists make their final move: they attack you spiritually.
This is the most important part.
Their energy becomes invasive, targeting you beyond the physical.
It’s as if they’re trying to pull you back into their world by invading your spiritual space.
They may show up in your dreams.
If you’ve had dreams about that narcissist, please comment below.
I’m talking about vivid, strange, and often disturbing dreams where they reappear as if they’re still in your life.
Narcissists have a way of energetically attaching themselves to you, even after you’ve distanced yourself.
Their need for control doesn’t stop in your waking life—it invades the sanctuary of your subconscious.
You might notice a sudden shift in your energy, like a heavy fatigue that seems to come out of nowhere.
Their energy lingers, trying to weaken you and keep you tethered to their chaos.
Memories of them may flood your mind when you least expect it.
Emotions may resurface that don’t feel like your own.
This is their way of trying to manifest you spiritually.
They know they can no longer reach you directly, so they project their energy outward, hoping it finds its way to you.
These attacks are a sign that you’ve taken your power back.
The more grounded and independent you become, the more desperate they’ll be to regain what they’ve lost.
I call it predatory intuition.
The moment you flip the page and start a new chapter, they feel it. That’s when they pop up and start attacking.
Protection and Boundaries
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So, how do you protect yourself when this is happening?
Strengthen your spiritual boundaries.
Cleanse your energy regularly—whether through prayer, meditation, visualization, or any other practice that feels right for you.
Imagine that energy being cut off, like cords severed, one by one.
Affirm your sovereignty:
“You have no power here. I reclaim my space. I reclaim my peace.”
Most importantly, stay rooted in your truth.
This is what I did, and it’s what I want to share with you.
Conclusion
What have your experiences been with what I shared today?
What did that narcissist do when you discarded them?
When you stopped chasing them?
Please drop your answers in the comments below, as they may help many survivors.
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