What Does a Narcissist Feel When You Stop Chasing Them (Hint: Spiritual Devastation)

When you refuse to chase the narcissist, their behavior becomes erratic.

Their tactics—stonewalling, silent treatment, or withholding affection—start to crumble under the weight of their need for validation.
Their ego gets in the way, and it becomes their biggest enemy. It’s what leads to their downfall.

They become unsettled and are forced to confront a void they’ve been avoiding their whole life.
And that void is their insecurity.

Narcissist’s Desperation and Manipulation

After ignoring you for days, the narcissist may send a casual “Hey” as if nothing happened.
They’ll want you to play along and hope to reel you back into their life with crumbs of attention.

But when you don’t react, they panic. Their silence loses its power, and they break it first, which is a big narcissistic injury.
They show you just how much they need you—and depend on your life force to survive.

They might text you about a shared memory, saying something like, “Remember when we celebrated my birthday together?” or “When we went to that nice spot?”
Why?
To elicit a positive emotion from you that will change your perception and make you give them another chance.

They might like your old pictures or create a crisis that will guilt-trip you into responding or chasing them again.
But if that fails, they rage, blame you, or outright deny reaching out.
They’ll accuse you of being cold or selfish for not chasing them.

They know that by weaponizing your moral values, you’ll do the “right” thing to prove you’re not a bad person.
To show you’re not cold, you’ll start chasing them again.
That’s their goal.
But if you continue standing firm, they become desperate because your indifference challenges their assumption:
That they can make anyone obsessed with them.

One of my clients shared that when she stopped begging the narcissist, he called her heartless.
But for the first time, she saw how fragile his ego was.
He needed her pain to feel strong. It was pathetic.