Today we’re going to talk about the female narcissist.
So much of the information out there is about the male narcissists and the abuse suffered by them usually, but not always against a woman, but females can have NPD too. The reality is narcissistic abuse is incredibly damaging and abusive for all victims who are exposed to it.
Men and women alike, not to mention, narcissistic abusers abuse not only their partner or spouse, but they also abuse their children, co-workers, siblings, grandchildren, these people do not discriminate against anyone for abusing and manipulating people, they are toxic to everyone.
We’re going to explore the top five behaviors of the female narcissist.
When we examine any type of narcissist, they will always have the same underlying core toxic traits, they will exhibit addiction to feeling special, unique, or superior and they will lack empathy, they will feel entitled and they will exhibit exploitative behavior.
The three e’s or the tripoli as defined by Craig malkin, who wrote an amazing book titled rethinking narcissism.
Those are the primary traits that all narcissists will have in common, and those are the ones that you should look out for. The female narcissist will definitely exhibit the three e’s, and of course, the name of the game is always to get a narcissistic supply.
1 she is extremely competitive
Female narcissists want to be the center of attention, as many narcissists do. Narcissists use people, as narcissistic supply and they need them to essentially be a mirror during their interactions that says you’re perfect and special in every way, they use other people and their interactions and reactions to them as validation that they are special and superior.
The female narcissist wants to be the best of everything and everyone around her whatever she views as being the most important quality for her to be viewed as perfect and superior. She will want that to be reserved only for her, no one else.
Whether it’s beauty, money or intellect she will want to believe and have others reflect her she is indeed the best among them and just so you know, this competitiveness happens not only with the female narcissist and says her friends or co-workers, she can feel this intense competitiveness with her own children, siblings, neighbors, stepchildren, daughters-in-law you name it.
The female narcissist is inherently jealous of others, which triggers the true self that feels deeply inferior, which will provoke her to become intensely competitive. She needs to believe; she is the best in all circumstances, even with her own children, stepchildren, grandchildren, or daughters-in-law.When you think about it, it’s really such a pathetic way to exist
2 the female narcissist is overly concerned about her appearance
To where it can become an obsession, she isn’t only obsessed with her own appearance, she can become obsessed with the appearance of everyone in her family, about her friends, co-workers, employees, grandchildren, and you name it. Unfortunately, the female narcissist is solely focused and obsessed with appearance, and that’s just about it.
Everything is just so superficial for the female narcissist, they aren’t interested in things that truly matter about being a human being like character and values, unless of course in the phony sense because she uses that as part of her image she wants to convey to the outside world.
For example, if she’s a churchgoer it will be because she wants to keep up appearances not because she’s truly interested in attending church, but only because she wants to be viewed as that kind of person because it fits her fraudulent image, she wants to be seen with the right people at the right places at all times.
3 she is extremely jealous and thinks everyone is jealous of her
All narcissists are incredibly envious of other people, even though they might project an image of extreme confidence or even cockiness.
The reality is underneath it all they are deeply jealous and envious of other people; she loves to get together with her posse of friends and talk behind other people’s back; they have a chit chats about how special and superior they are to so, and they are known for talking horribly about people behind their backs, they are incredibly two-faced and because they are so jealous of other people and because they are so incredibly two-faced; she assumes other people think exactly like she does and therefore must also be jealous of her, of course, she gets a lot of narcissistic supply from just the thought that others are jealous of her that feeds her ego and helps to support her deep feelings of inferiority.
4 she is overly sensitive to criticisms
Because the female narcissist is completely consumed by her image, she is incredibly sensitive to any personal criticisms, even perceived criticisms. The false self that she has built depends on this false belief that she is special and superior, so anytime she gets information to the Contrary, it is incredibly upsetting to her and usually, she will get insanely defensive this will inevitably cause a narcissistic injury, she cannot accept or tolerate criticism, not even constructive kind helpful criticism, she takes any form of criticism personally and to say she becomes easily offended is an understatement.
This is not the person who you could have an honest heart-to-heart conversation with; she is not interested in any version of reality that does not portray her as perfect.
5 she uses her sexuality to her advantage
I’m sure this isn’t a shock to anyone. Typically male narcissists will use their money assets, their professional achievements, to manipulate other people.
The female narcissist will use her sexuality in all kinds of ways to manipulate and take advantage of other people in particularly men.
Narcissistic men also can use their sexuality or their physique to take advantage, but this is primarily the tool of the female narcissists. Female narcissists will dress provocatively many times, they will inappropriately flirt and flaunt and display their physical attributes in order to get attention and to get to gain narcissistic supply, also the female narcissist will commonly have affairs with their partner’s friends or family members, it isn’t uncommon for them to select a new person, for narcissistic supply literally from their current partner’s personal circle. I have seen this time and time again with the female narcissist. They will be married to someone and then lo-and-behold it, comes out that she is getting a divorce and is marrying her husband’s first cousin.
they have no ethics, no morals when it comes to obtaining what they want, and they are usually quite lazy and will take advantage of potential sources of supply nearest and available to them.
One more point that i would like to add about female narcissists, is that very many times when a woman marries or has a long-term relationship with a narcissistic man, she will become highly narcissistic herself and will start exhibiting many of the toxic behaviors as her narcissistic partner, you cannot be exposed to a narcissist for long periods of time without some of their behavior wearing off on you, you will often hear me say that you shouldn’t only leave a relationship with a narcissist because they are so abusive towards you, also because exposure to these people wear down your own values, integrity, morals, and beliefs. Some people will be more susceptible to their influence than others but I have seen many narcissistic relationships that took a once nice kind, compassionate woman and turned her into a catty cruel materialistic pathological lying person just like her narcissistic husband.
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