This Is Why The Narcissist Leads to Hoarding (No One Talks About THIS!)

2. Sentimental Clinging to the Past
Sometimes, the hardest things to throw away aren’t just objects; they’re pieces of who you used to be. When you’ve survived narcissistic abuse, you don’t just lose control over your life; you can also lose your sense of self. Over time, you start questioning your memories, emotions, and even your worth. That’s why certain objects, like an old sweater, a childhood toy, or a worn-out book, become more than just things; they become anchors to a time when you felt safe, happy, or even just yourself. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps the Score,” explains that trauma often disconnects people from their identities, leaving them searching for tangible reminders of who they once were.

So even if that old stuffed animal is falling apart, letting go of it can feel like erasing a part of your past. However, holding on to certain items can keep old wounds open. Healing isn’t about forgetting but realizing you don’t need objects to prove your experiences or your worth.

3. Fear of Scarcity
Narcissistic abuse isn’t just emotional; it can be financial too. Maybe the narcissist controlled all the money, made you beg for basic needs, or constantly criticized how you spent a dime. Over time, this creates a deep-rooted fear that you’ll never have enough. Hoarding—whether it’s food, clothes, or even random household items—becomes your way of fighting back. Because if you have extra, if you stockpile, then no one can ever leave you desperate again.

That drawer full of plastic grocery bags or those stacks of expired coupons are not just clutter but a safety net. However, the more you hoard, the more you stay mentally trapped in survival mode. Instead of feeling secure, you feel buried under reminders of what you lacked. Trauma therapist Dr. Ariel Schwartz explains that people with a history of deprivation often struggle to trust that they’ll be okay in the future, and it leads them to hold on to things long past their usefulness. Remember this: You don’t need to live in constant fear of running out. Real security doesn’t come from stockpiling; it comes from rebuilding trust in yourself, your ability to adapt, and the fact that you are in control now.

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