There is a good reason why narcissistic abuse victims hoard unnecessary items. When someone has spent years being controlled, gaslit, and made to feel worthless, even the smallest possessions can feel like a lifeline. These items aren’t just stuff; they’re symbols of safety, identity, and control in a world that once took those things away. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse, explains that survivors often cling to objects because they provide comfort and stability after years of emotional chaos.
Today, let’s dive into the reasons why narcissistic abuse victims hoard unnecessary items. Are you ready for number one?
1. Sense of Control
When someone takes away your power, you start holding on to anything that still feels like yours. Narcissistic abuse strips away your sense of control, making even small decisions feel like a battlefield. When your choices are constantly criticized, you start to feel like you have no say in your own life. Dr. Craig Malkin, author of “Rethinking Narcissism,” explains that long-term emotional abuse creates a desperate need to claim control in any way possible. For many survivors, that control shows up in the form of hoarding. Owning things, piling them up, and storing them away becomes a silent way of saying, “This is mine; no one can take it from me.” A drawer full of old receipts or a closet stuffed with clothes you never wear might not make sense to others, but to you, it’s proof that some decisions are still yours to make.
Hoarding can feel like control, but it often becomes another kind of trap, keeping you stuck in survival mode. True control comes from knowing you have the power to choose, let go, and create a life that isn’t defined by what was taken from you.
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