Have you ever wondered why narcissists choose you and what they see in you? This isn’t a coincidence—you were chosen for a reason. When selecting friends or relationships, narcissists are highly observant. They seek out particular traits, some of which you might not even realize you have. But trust me, you have a lot to offer.
1. Empathy and Compassion
The first thing a narcissist is drawn to is your empathy and compassion. If you are gentle, patient, and nonjudgmental, they adore these qualities in you. It attracts them because it’s something they lack. Narcissists won’t choose someone who challenges them, constantly questions them, or argues with them. They want someone kind, caring, and, ideally, someone who doesn’t ask too many questions. If you are highly empathetic and intuitive about others’ emotions, they will see you as a perfect target.
2. A Sense of Responsibility
Narcissists are also drawn to individuals with a strong sense of responsibility—those who are diligent, accountable, and eager to make things right. These individuals tend to prioritize others’ needs over their own, which plays into the narcissist’s hands. Your natural inclination to help and fix things creates an opportunity for the narcissist to project their issues onto you. This sense of obligation makes it harder to leave because you feel responsible for their well-being.
3. Optimism and Idealism
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Narcissists are often pessimistic and struggle to see the good in the world. When they encounter someone who is optimistic, hopeful, and full of light, they are drawn to that positivity like a moth to a flame. However, this is often where the cycle of abuse begins. Over time, they drain you of your joy, energy, and hope. They enjoy bringing you down because it gives them a sense of control and power.
4. Self-Doubt and Insecurities
We all have insecurities and self-doubts, but narcissists are skilled at identifying and exploiting them. Through subtle jabs, gaslighting, and manipulation, they gradually erode your confidence. As your self-worth diminishes, you become easier to control, making it even harder to break free from their grip.
5. Strength and Independence
Interestingly, narcissists are also attracted to strong, independent individuals. They admire these traits, but this admiration often turns into jealousy and a desire to dominate. Narcissists may initially mirror your confidence and strength, but over time, they attempt to strip you of these qualities to keep you under their control.
Conclusion
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Narcissists value more than just physical attraction; they are drawn to specific traits that they aspire to possess or manipulate. They don’t want you to leave, but their methods are rooted in negativity and control. It’s crucial to recognize that their kindness is often insincere and part of their strategy to keep you hooked.
Setting boundaries is essential once you recognize the traits that make you a target. Remember, protecting yourself doesn’t mean changing who you are. Your empathy, strength, and optimism are gifts—but they need safeguarding.
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