The Narcissist’s Mirror: How They Copy You, Become You, and Then Destroy You
The first aspect we will discuss is that narcissists are chameleons. If they have determined that you are a possible candidate to be their new primary source of narcissistic supply, they will zero in on certain traits or possessions of yours that they find worthwhile and are likely envious of. But narcissists do not have a strong and secure sense of self; that part of them never developed. To compensate, they adopt the identities of their targets, using mirroring as a tool to forge a false connection and extract what they need: admiration, validation, and control.
Their goal is to gain complete control over your life, taking from you the very things that they envy or desire, and then leaving you destroyed, depleted, and destitute. Another reason they do this is that they are desperately trying to fill a deep, dark void in themselves by constructing a false identity, stealing parts of your identity or those of others they admire or envy in a futile effort to fill the void where their own sense of self and true identity should be. They find temporary relief in adopting your characteristics.
However, this strategy is not sustainable. These adopted traits are not integrated into a genuine self-concept; they are just superficial layers that mask their deep-seated insecurities. Eventually, the facade inevitably cracks under the pressure of authenticity, triggering their deep-seated shame and inferiority complex, igniting another cycle of devaluation and abuse.
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