You see, narcissists are not like most people. They often try to keep a connection with past partners—what we call their “roster”—even when it appears everything is done. They’re still eyeing ways to keep you as a backup. Why? Because they’re terrified of losing their supply: the emotional energy, attention, and validation they feed off of. This supply is their lifeblood. Without it, they feel destabilized and vulnerable.
When they leave, they are constantly evaluating if there’s any way they can slink back in. Here’s where it gets tricky: when a narcissist discards you—or if you leave them—you’re in for a wild ride. They watch you, study you. How are you handling the breakup? Are you spiraling into confusion?
Let’s be honest, when that discard happens, it is confusing. You’re left asking, What just happened? Why am I in such a mess? It’s disorienting. That’s a classic trait of a narcissistic relationship. Being with a narcissist is like being stuck in an addiction—the emotional turmoil, the manipulation, the constant game-playing. Nothing feels real. It’s like you’re dealing with an entity, not a person.
The damage is profound. The emotional scars from such a relationship can run deep. But as you start to pull yourself out of that chaos, you need to understand something crucial:
Narcissists thrive on confusion.
They create it because it keeps you tethered to them, even when you’re physically apart. The moment you’re uncertain about the relationship or your feelings, that’s when they swoop in. They manipulate, twist, and make you second-guess everything.
But here’s the thing: you need to stop letting them occupy space in your life.
A bird belongs in the trees, not in your bed or your head. Don’t let them in ever again.
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