Something, that’s very frustrating with narcissist, is their inability to validate your feelings or your viewpoints. Now, validation isn’t about completely agreeing with the person, validation is simply acknowledging somebody’s point of view, seeing ,hearing what they’re saying, caring enough about their view to let them know that you see them, you hear them and that you care. Narcissists never validate.
And what they will often do to avoid validation is blame shift.
2 blame shift
Rather than have the focus beyond their behavior; they will quickly change the conversation so that the focus is on something supposedly that you do wrong.
In a healthy relationship, it’s healthy. It’s normal to imagine that in any disagreement both parties can share some of the responsibility. There’s not one person that’s 100 percent blame free, and the other person that’s 100 percent always taking the blame. That’s not reality, because there’s always two sides and there’s always something that each one of us in a relationship can learn from the other or do better or recognize that we were doing something that maybe we didn’t realize. So, the purpose of the blame shifting is to really take the spotlight off of the narcissist and put it on to someone that they can blame. Which most of the time is, you.
The strategy of the narcissist when they use projection serves two purposes:
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