They do, however, maintain the feeling of dominance and aversion to scrutiny seen in overt narcissists, as Medical News Today points out. They will never forget or forgive you if you make fun of them in public, whether deliberately or accidentally. With a covert narcissist hell-bent on revenge, nothing is off limits: manipulating associates, relatives, or even children against you; using misinformation tactics to smear your good name; even manipulating the police or the justice system to damage you.
Covert narcissists have people they work very hard to please, and they project a charming, polite, and supportive persona around these people. The arrogant mask is what it’s called. The mask falling in front of those whose favor they pursue is their greatest fear. You may think that tearing off the mask is the greatest form of retribution, but don’t do it.
If you should stop confronting a secret narcissist
Childhood is the cause of narcissism. Children’s needs are initially fulfilled by parents and caregivers in normal, caring, and safe environments. Then, as they become older, they know that “it isn’t just about me.” They learn to fulfill their own needs while still having empathy with those around them.
Children who do not have their fundamental needs fulfilled by their parents or grandparents, on the other hand, must learn from a young age how to fulfill those needs on their own. They never grow out of “it’s all about me” and refuse to cultivate empathy as they get older. That is when narcissism starts.
You shouldn’t want to defeat a narcissist at their own game since it’s one they’ve been enjoying since childhood. Any gesture, expression, and contact is calculated to get them what they want and to kill those that stand in their path.
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