When it comes to navigating your way out of narcissistic abuse and getting to a place of clarity, you’re looking for patterns of behavior. Remember, words are easy. Self-absorbed, manipulative people who are trying to avoid responsibility and accountability will say anything to maintain their position of dominance and control. Learn to pay far more attention to what people do or don’t do on repeat, rather than what they say.
You deserve better—so much better. The goal is to reduce or eliminate the negative impact the narcissist’s attitudes and behaviors are having on you. Protective strategies can help you deal with your reactions when you have no alternative but to engage with the narcissist in the short term. Things like reducing your exposure, detaching emotionally, and employing the grey rock method, while exercising extreme self-care, can be really helpful.
Also, refuse to be gaslit. Make your life a zero-tolerance zone for gaslighting. Do not allow someone to cause you to doubt yourself or question your perception of reality. That, my friends, is emotional abuse, and it only works if you play along. You know what you live; you know what you saw and heard; you know what you feel. You don’t have to second-guess yourself.
Furthermore, do not explain, defend, justify, or apologize unless you legitimately have something to apologize for. If so, apologize once—not on repeat. Do the right thing for you; keep your conscience clean. Do not allow yourself to be bullied, manipulated, or coerced into over-explaining or justifying your actions.
Stop explaining yourself to someone who is fully committed to misunderstanding and misrepresenting you. Stop handing over your power and your vital life force energy. For goodness’ sake, stop reacting to their provocations. When you react, they’re in charge. Don’t give them that power.
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