It’s vitally important that you do whatever you need to do to get clear and stay clear so you can ultimately navigate your way out of the toxic and destructive dynamic and into a healthier, more productive life. So, how do you get clear? To begin with, know the signs. What does emotional manipulation and psychological abuse actually look like?
It can start with how often the narcissist looks to you to meet their needs. How entitled are they in your life and at your expense? Do they demonstrate a clear sense of entitlement in the way they mistreat and disrespect you? Is this clear by virtue of their attitude and behavior toward you, even if intermittently? Do they feel entitled to your time, energy, attention, and/or resources, even though they mistreat and disrespect you?
To what degree do they expect you to know what they want or need without them having to ask or communicate clearly like an actual adult? Do they expect you to read their mind? How do they react when you dare set a boundary or say no to them? Are you expected to put their needs before your own?
The degree to which any of this is your experience tells a story about what you’re actually living. Let’s be honest: if this is your reality, how far has being nice to this person gotten you so far? My guess is not very far.
So, what do you do? You have to be willing to remove the rose-colored glasses and stop projecting your good heart and good intent onto people who do not share them. You need to evaluate how things actually are in reality, not how you wish they were. Stop buying whatever BS the narcissist is selling when their actions consistently do not match their words and promises.
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