Inside the Narcissist’s Manipulation Tactics: How They Groom You to Abandon Yourself
Over time, this emotional punishment teaches you to self-edit. You start dimming your light to avoid conflict, downplaying your talents, second-guessing your style, and abandoning your joy. Eventually, you shrink yourself to fit inside the version of you they’ve deemed acceptable, and that’s when the real damage sets in. You begin to fear your own uniqueness—not because it’s wrong, but because they made it feel dangerous.
Finally, they train you to internalize blame for their abuse. This is perhaps the most damaging manipulation of all because this is how narcissists slowly train you to believe their abuse is your fault. When they explode in rage, give you the silent treatment, lie, cheat, or humiliate you, it’s never about their behavior; it’s about how you made them do it. You’re told you’re too sensitive, too cold, too emotional, too needy. Every reaction you have to their mistreatment is twisted into evidence that you are the problem.
This conditioning doesn’t just affect how you view the relationship; it reshapes how you view yourself. You begin to carry the weight of their dysfunction like it’s your moral failing. You start managing their moods instead of honoring your own. You justify their cruelty, overanalyze your responses, and apologize just to keep the peace. Little by little, you abandon your right to have boundaries, your right to be treated with dignity, your right to say, “This is not okay.” Eventually, you just endure mistreatment, believing you deserve it—not because it’s true, but because they’ve worked tirelessly to convince you that their lack of character is somehow a reflection of yours.
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