If Narcissist Does This in Bed, They are Cheating With Someone You Know
Sign 3: Obsessive Comparisons
They suddenly become critical of your scent, body, or style—pushing you to mimic someone else’s appearance.
Perhaps they used to love your natural scent. Now they insist you wear a specific perfume. They might say things like:
“Most women shave.”
“Other people use this soap.”
“I read that couples who do X are happier.”
These “hypothetical” comparisons aren’t hypothetical at all—they’re describing the person they’re cheating with. If your friend Emma always wears vanilla perfume, suddenly he wants that smell on you. If your coworker has perfect nails, now it’s your “duty” to keep yours the same.
This is not about self-improvement. It’s about transforming you into the person they’re having an affair with.
Sign 4: Secretive Phone Behavior
They keep their phone face down during intimacy—and immediately check it afterward.
Technology is the narcissist’s lifeline. During or right after sex, they don’t want closeness or cuddling. Instead, they grab their phone. They’ll say it’s for “work” or to “check something urgent,” but in reality, they’re updating their affair partner.
Their secret lover may be texting:
“Where are you?”
“Why haven’t you replied?”
“When will I see you again?”
They feel compelled to respond quickly, even if you’re lying right next to them.
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