When a narcissist realizes you are smarter than they are, their whole world shatters. They start obsessively studying you, trying to steal your intelligence like a parasite feeding off its host. You might think, “Oh, they’re just insecure.” No, this is far worse than simple insecurity; this is a calculated effort to strip you of your intellectual identity, repackage it, and present it as their own, all while simultaneously ensuring you doubt yourself.
But here’s the paradox: how does a grandiose, delusional narcissist even grasp that they are intellectually inferior? Well, that’s exactly what we’re going to break down today.
Before they even start attacking you directly, they gaslight themselves with self-deception and delusional narratives. A narcissist cannot tolerate the idea that someone else is genuinely more intelligent than they are, so they create a narrative where your knowledge, skills, and insights were either taken from them or somehow inspired by them. They convince themselves that you wouldn’t be where you are without their guidance or influence. This twisted self-deception gives them the justification to steal from you without guilt. They may even claim that your achievements are actually theirs or that you merely copied them. They live in a fantasy where they are the original source, and you’re just an imitator.
Next, they spiral into panic and desperation. The moment they realize you’re intellectually out of their league, their world cracks. They don’t just see you as a threat; they see you as someone who exposes their fraudulence. Their first instinct is damage control, but not in a rational way. They don’t think, “Maybe I should learn and grow.” No, they react with desperation, scrambling to regain control and manipulate the narrative, burying their fear under a pile of stolen ideas and forced superiority.
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They start shifting gears immediately, oscillating between arrogance and self-victimization. At first, they may deny your intelligence outright, dismissing your insights as lucky guesses or irrelevant details. When that doesn’t work, they shift tactics, suddenly claiming they’ve always known what you know. They pretend they were just waiting for you to catch up or that your brilliance was something they helped cultivate. They will revise history in real-time, ensuring that they were either above you or the guiding force behind your achievements.
In the process of undermining you, they become a counterfeit version of you. Suddenly, they start speaking like you, using your words, adopting your opinions, and perhaps even copying your interests. But here’s the catch: they’ll never outright credit you. Instead, they subtly try to push you out of your own expertise. They’ll take your original thoughts, repackage them, and present them to others as if they were the genius behind them. If you’re an academic, they suddenly develop a deep appreciation for research. If you’re a writer, they start writing. If you’re a speaker, they mimic your delivery. It’s a bizarre and insidious form of intellectual theft, but it serves a purpose: to devalue you while elevating themselves.
If you remain distant and silent, not reacting to their nonsense, they will take it to the next level. They’ll subtly start undermining your confidence in your own knowledge. They will correct you on things you already know, challenge you with feigned authority, or act condescendingly when you speak—anything to plant the seed of doubt. “Are you sure about that?” they’ll say with a smug smile, even when they know you’re right. If you correct them, that’s when the rage simmers beneath their mask. They can’t stand being outsmarted, so they do what cowards do best: attack in ways that don’t look like attacks.
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They use social sabotage, the silent treatment, and passive-aggressive put-downs, all while playing innocent. The real masterstroke? They start treating you like you’re the one who doesn’t know what you’re talking about. If you’re not careful, they’ll have you second-guessing yourself. If that backfires and you maintain your confidence, they hijack your space and take credit. They will start networking with people in your field, inserting themselves into your circles, or even trying to get mentorship from those who admire you. The goal is to infiltrate your space and make it seem like they’ve always belonged there.
Meanwhile, while they subtly erode your credibility, they’ll say things like, “Yeah, they’re smart, but sometimes they overthink things,” or, “I respect their work, but they don’t always get it right.” Just enough to cast doubt while making themselves look like a reasonable, more balanced alternative. If they can’t steal your credibility, they’ll attack it behind closed doors, whispering that you’re arrogant, difficult, or even emotionally unstable—whatever narrative suits their need to tear you down. Because if they can’t beat you intellectually, they’ll make sure no one listens to you in the first place.
The ultimate move? Some narcissists will go to extreme measures and dark tactics to try to erase you. As I mentioned in yesterday’s episode, they may start sending people after you—friends, colleagues, even strangers—to destroy your work. We are not talking about smear campaigns here; we are talking about paying people to harm you and your work. They know they can’t attack you head-on without exposing themselves, so they use “flying monkeys” to do their dirty work. Expect sudden betrayals, strikes, and attacks that people think only happen in movies.
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I’m talking about groups threatening and attacking in purely criminal ways. If that still doesn’t break you, they may go even further, tampering with your environment in ways that affect your well-being. Some have been known to mix things in food or drinks to make their target ill, cloud their cognition, or weaken them physically. They know that if they can’t beat you intellectually, they might have a better chance if they attack your health and mental clarity. If you ever start feeling off around them—constantly exhausted, confused, or physically unwell—consider the possibility that it’s not just stress; it may be them trying to drug you. If you ever suspect this is happening, get cameras installed, and don’t leave food unattended or eat anything they make or offer.
I have created a detailed episode on how narcissists use drugs to harm you; click the “i” button above to watch it now. This is why dealing with a cowardly narcissist isn’t just about handling someone who is jealous; it’s about protecting your intellectual identity and life from someone who sees you as both a threat and a resource to be mined for their own gain.
But what happens when they realize none of these tactics are working? When it becomes undeniably clear that you possess not just knowledge, but a sharp independent mind they can’t control, that’s when they escalate to the final stage: exhaustion. They can’t keep up; they become consumed with trying to match you, only to realize that intelligence isn’t something you mimic; it’s something you embody. That realization, the one they tried so hard to avoid, crushes them under the weight of their own inferiority.
That’s what you have to wait for patiently. As I say, you have to let them become their own biggest enemy. Do nothing, because they know how to set their own lives on fire.
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